Well, I had one of those tough phone calls just a little while ago. A project I dearly loved, something that was wildly creative, fun, fast-paced, and collaborative (with a partner I looked forward to working with every day), got cancelled. Just like that. We'd been running flat-out to launch a new magazine within a very short timeframe--we saw everything falling into place, beginning to take shape, emerging in layout with color, energy, life. It was beautiful--it was good--it hit the mark. Every day I thanked God for this gift of a project, an unusually bright spot in what can often be a quiet, studied, solitary type of work.
I got off the phone and the waves of disappointment rolled over me. I went outside to sit and think and pray, trying not to grumble and complain or cry. And the words, "plans to give you hope and a future..." echoed in my head. Yes, Lord, I remember that verse. It's Jeremiah 29:11, a verse that has pulled me out of many dark places in my life:
- "For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
I know that wherever I work and whatever I work on is God's call to make, and I know there is a reason underneath all this that has something to do with trust, love, hope, and faith. But I come face-to-face, yet again, with the difference between God's will and my own. And I choose His, I really do. Even when I don't understand it.
Just last weekend I was talking to a friend who was having trouble with her teenager. "The great thing is that God isn't done with this situation yet," I reassured her, "the story isn't finished." Now those words can comfort me. There's more to come. The God of creation is still creating in us, through us, and with us, this very minute. When I remember that God is busy at work creating, even in this disappointment, I find that "hope and promise" for the future and know that soon...in the next hour, maybe two...I'll be able to thank God even for this, knowing and claiming that what God has done before, He will do again--and more.