That's not like me, as I have known "me" in the past. Deadlines have been non-negotiable lines in the sand. You just make them. It doesn't matter whether you have to work all night, or skip meals, or forget to take the dogs out (sorry, dogs). You just have to make those deadlines. That keeps food on the table and the roof over your family's head and besides, you gave your word. Your agreement to those deadlines is your bond.
Except grace comes and hangs around, haunting you. And one day, it moves into your space. And life curls its breezy little finger at you and you have to go see what party it's inviting you to. Years ago I didn't have room for this type of grace in my work. I did have a place for it in my life--usually with my kids--but that playful, life-arising energy had to sit outside in the hall when I was working. I was too busy for exploring. I had deadlines to meet.
And deadlines are still important to me today, but the beckoning finger that life used to draw me hesitantly out into the sunshine before has become a living force within me. It moves me now and causes me to throw my arms open and breathe in, deeply, and damn the deadlines (for the moment). It offers me choices and directs me when it can, and somehow it has become a stronger energy than the tight, clamped down, gotta-do-it energy I used in the past to keep a tight grasp on my projects.
I can't explain it except to say that life has moved in, somehow, and animated the moments, bringing joy and warmth and energy to everything--my teaching, my speaking, even my technical writing. For that matter, I can write a check today and feel attuned to spirit moving. It's a beautiful, wonderful thing--an almost inexpressible richness of being. A swelling, swirling, beautiful cloud of life arising right now, and right now, and right now.
Of course I have to deal with my deadlines, and of course I need to finish my projects, and I will. But it's so infinitely much better to feel connected to the spirit of creation--with all its love and joy and color and possibility--while I do.
I am grateful. :)