Monday, April 02, 2012

A life blossoming in love :)

Years ago, when I was in my first year of seminary, the professor of my Pastoral Care to the Dying and Their Families class asked us, on the first night of class, to write out whatever we wanted to appear on our headstones. I thought that was an interesting first exercise, and the phrase I wanted on mine instantly filled my head. It was A Life Blossoming in Love. The image that went along with that saying was a vine of morning glories, lush and purple and blue and open to the morning sun.

In the years since, I had many ministry experiences--most of them wonderful--as I worked as a chaplain, a spiritual director, and now teaching at the seminary level. I feel very connected to God's goodness and the sweet, moving energy of life. But still I wonder: What's next? Should I write a big book on Eco-Spirituality that really sums up everything I feel about God and nature and our flourishing lives? Should I find a new chaplaincy position somewhere, so I could return to that amazing and unique work that I loved so much? Should I look for a position as a spiritual director on staff at a retreat center, or start my own workshop schedule...or...or...or?

I am not certain why I am always looking for the right "fit" for what stirs my spirit. Could it be a lack of trust that what's unfolding is the Right Thing? Could be. Or could it be that my spirit is stretching and yearning for that big thing that's just around the corner? Could be.

I don't really know.

But today an interesting link led me, of all places, to this article on Oprah's website: And I decided to create some mental space, go outside in the sun, and prayerfully invite my own six-word phrase to bubble up. Suddenly, instantly, I knew it, and it was only five words: A Life Blossoming in Love. I've known it for years! And it really is the hub around which my life revolves--God, family, home, and work.

I am not sure why I do so much pushing and prodding and analyzing and wondering and waiting, when I've already written my memoir. I already know what my life is about. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that. In fact all the dust clouds and questions and doubt that gets kicked up around that bigger sense of life purpose could just be my industrious crazy-making ego, wanting to feel in control of the show.

Could be. :)

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