Thursday, November 06, 2003


Somehow yesterday afternoon everything seemed too big for me. My participation in my online courses felt so earnest; I later wondered whether I'd shared too much, gone too far, thought out loud just a little too long. I wanted to pull back, be quiet, rest. My work felt demanding and difficult, with too many projects, all due on Friday, and schoolwork to fit in there somewhere. I churned around inside, feeling that vague "something's-not-right" feeling, like a big boot was going to drop from the sky and squish me at any moment. Everything had become so important somehow. And overwhelming. And scary.

But these ebbs are always followed by flow, thank goodness. And last night, I cuddled on the couch next to my youngest son, with my oldest son sitting not far away, and we took a rare hour and a half to watch a funny movie: The In-Laws, with Michael Douglas and Albert Brooks. It may have been that the movie was really that funny, or it may have been that I just plain needed to laugh, but the kids and I sat in the family room hooting and howling and laughing and stamping out feet. We raised quite a ruckuss. I remembered the smile muscles in my face. Laughing felt like transformation. I "heart"ily recommend it. :)

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