The Starting Point

I had a wonderful conversation with a young, dear friend last night. We were talking about the state of the world--these clouds of threat that hang over us all as individuals, as a country, as world. I told him that I believe that the natural state of all God created is health--and that we, in our own bodies, our families, our communities, our world--are built to righten naturally. Our immune systems attempt to chase away germs; our hair grows back; our bruises and cuts heal. In our families, upset and misunderstandings get washed away with love and forgiveness. In our businesses, mistakes and bad choices become part of the learning fabric essential to making better, healthier choices in the future. There is reason for hope, and it begins with a recognition and welcome of the healing gift God has built into us all. We will grow and learn and strengthen ourselves and each other, if we're awake to it and willing to apply it. And God will use our health to call others out from under the dark clouds and begin to allow the healing in their own lives in a new way.

I ran across this quote this morning that captures that starting point of healing:

But where was I to start? The world is so vast, I shall start with the country I knew best, my own. But my country is so very large. I had better start with my town. But my town, too, is large. I had best start with my street. No, my home. No, my family. Never mind, I shall start with myself.
- Elie Wiesel

Enjoy your day, and have a good weekend! :) k

A Question

If your thoughts were powerful enough to instantly create what you are thinking about, what would you would want to create today?

With Me :)

I want to follow up on my last posting real quick. First I have to say what we all know: God is amazing. Not long after I wrote that message the other morning, I began to feel a shift inside. A strength. A calm. By the afternoon, I was in full swing on my projects, making great headway. By nighttime I'd cranked out a major portion of a project and was moving on to the next. Today, three days later, I can report back that God has been with me and in me and his strength has surrounded me in my work every step of the way. I ask him for guidance and do the next thing I know to do to the best of my ability. I don't allow myself to entertain that panic thought, "How will I ever get all this done?" The calm assurance--and productivity--is a great gift, and it was--and is--there for the asking. God is truly with us, in whatever capacity we'll allow him. I want him in all ways, in all times, in all circumstances. Thank you, God! Have a wonderful weekend, everyone! :) k

With Me or Not

Last night I somehow dropped off to sleep worrying about three wonderful-but-huge projects I have this month. This morning I woke up in a panic before first light, feeling overwhelmed and incapable of meeting all these looming deadlines. Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up and pulled all the covers up over my head, thinking over and over again, "God is my resource...God is my resource..."

What I'm struggling with today is my perception of my own limitations and, at a very basic level, a question of whether I really believe God's promise that He is always with me, that the battle is His, that He is the vine and I am the branch. If I am struggling with the thought of "my limited resources" of time, money, energy, whatever--isn't that the same thing as declaring that I'm in this alone and relying on my own strength? Do I believe God powers me or not? Is it Him at work in me and through me, every minute--or is He here one minute and gone the next? That's not the God I know...and I think I'm being led to a new place where I will understand and live from the very base of my beliefs. He has brought abundant work. I am thankful. He equips us for the jobs He has for us. He tells us to look to Him for strength and direction and let the battle be His. Can I apply this to all levels of my life and believe the best about myself--because He works in me?

I'm reminded of a quote I read a while back: "When you find that you're running out of time, pray twice as much as you normally would." It might not seem logical, but our spirits know that the most important moments of any day are the ones in which we can reconnect with our Source. And that can happen in a split second, whenever we choose it to be so. A good reminder. Blessings on your day! :) -k

Faith in Faces

I happened across this site this morning and it gave me such a warm feeling I wanted to pass it on: www.pictureyourself.org. This site is just filled with people who have taken photos of themselves (you know, the camera-at-the-end-of-the-outstretched-arm thing). But I was touched by all these people sharing real moments of their lives in this way. What must we all look like, together, to God? What a breathtaking mosaic of beauty, love, laughter, and light. He must be so glad He created us! We're such colorful companions! :) k

Climbing Up on God's Lap

I don't understand much about the "energy" dynamic between people--I can't really put words around the effects we seem to have on each other when we're joyful, or grumpy, or angry, or sad. As highly compassionate beings, we tend to take on whatever others around us are feeling--for better and for worse. Today I did this without wanting to, absorbing another person's mood like a human sponge. Now I find myself weary and worn out and feeling like I need to put on some footed jammies, get a mug of hot chocolate, and climb up in God's lap for a while. I think I need some Divine cuddling and an "everything-will-be-okay" hug. :) k

A Light Moment

I had such a neat experience today in a meeting. As my client and I were talking, he was getting passionate about an idea and I suddenly felt his mind just open and light pour in. In that instant, I saw how God prepares us through love for the moment He chooses to fill us with understanding. What a blessing! I will remember this for those times I'm tempted to regard others as "close-minded." God will find a way, through what they love in their own lives, to bring all the openness He needs for their enlightenment. Thank you, God! You've thought of everything! :) k

Letting God Make the Pass

This morning, feeling a bit burdened, I sat in the living room under a comforting afghan watching my son Cameron play the new PS2 game he got for Christmas, NFL 2003. At 9, he can name all the quarterbacks for NFL teams and run through enough plays and stats to make your head swim. I was sitting with him physically, but not really there mentally, turning over and over a worry that had preoccupied much of my thought this morning. I vacantly watched the virtual ball fly through the air from the kicker to receiver. A perfect catch.

"Did you do that?" I asked Cameron. "Do you control the ball or does the computer do it?"

Cameron, never looking away from his game, with fingers and thumbs flying, said "When I'm kicking, it's best to let the computer control it. If the computer does it, the receiver catches it every time. If I control it, I have to make sure the ball gets there...and that's a lot harder."

I sat and felt the Aha! spread through my tense mind. Thanks for the object lesson, God, I thought. If I let God call the shots and direct my circumstances, I can be certain they will be resolved in the way he wants them to be resolved. If I grab the controls away and try to do it myself, chances are that my fears and worries and misperceptions will cause the ball to miss its mark. I know this, and I know I know it. And yet, it's so easy to forget. Thank goodness I have a football-loving 9-year-old around to remind me.

Blessings on your day! :) k

Making Things New Again

Blessings on your New Year as God does a new thing in our midst, releasing us from mistakes and errors of the past and setting us firmly in a clear bright hope for the future. It's our task to hold to the fresh vision of peace, love, and light in this New Year. I'm glad I'm your sister in this wonderful, love-filled effort! Happy New Year, everyone! :) k

Silent Night

The snow has been falling for hours here in Indianapolis. It's five minutes til midnight and a quiet blanket of white covers the streets, lawns, and cars. Outside with my dog Georgie a few minute ago, I heard only the sound of the snowflakes falling and Georgie snuffling through the deep snow. Inside, the kids had hot chocolate and are now tucked in bed. All is well, all is peace, all is calm.

I'm so thankful for these perfect moments of quiet contemplation, when I can hear in my heart the words of the angel...for unto *you* is born this day. Thank you, God, for your gift of yourself to us, today and everyday. May we each, in the way you open for us, continue to extend your gift to others.

Merry Christmas, everyone. May God bless you with a special understanding of his love today. :) k

A Humbling Thought

This afternoon, as I was rushing like mad to finish a chapter so that I could turn it in as "done" on my 5:00pm report to the publisher, a thought was given to me quietly, gently, like a valentine that was sure to make an impact. The thought was "Don't *look* good; *do* good." I didn't ask for this thought (except perhaps in that continuous prayer I send out asking God to see my heart and remove any obstacles that keep me away from him).

Don't look good; do good.

Suddenly I saw myself clearly in a not-so-flattering light. I was working hard, but what was my motivation? To do the work well and honor my deadline, or to avoid looking bad to the publisher? I had to admit to myself (yes, and to you) that my motivation was that of a child: I didn't want the publisher to be unhappy about work I felt I should have finished earlier.

I could launch into a long diatribe about how our power systems (adult-child; teacher-student; boss-employee; law-citizen; pastor-flock) encourage division, judgment, and hiding by giving the majority of power to one and little or none to the other. When we feel we are in positions of lesser power, we feel vulnerable; we put on our fig leaves and try to hide. Smiling and "looking good" becomes really important, because we want those in power to approve of us (or at least leave us alone).

Equality felt and applied gives us the freedom to be honest, to tell people truthfully the way things are and how we see it. We can share our truth without fear or hiding. We can cooperate to make sense of situations and work together to resolve problems (even late chapters). It seems a much better and healthier (and God-like) approach to me. I want to focus on being an adult child of God, equal and safe with all other children of God on this globe. And I want to *do* good in my work and throughout my life, whether or not I *look* good doing it.

Blessings on your day! :) k

Getting Over "Otherness"

I read an interesting article today about a young boy with a beautiful voice. He sang like an angel at home, in his room, by himself. He loved singing and felt loved, singing. But when he stepped in front of someone else--whether that someone was his parents, his class, his church, or an audience--his heart beat loudly, his breathing became shallow, he broke out in a sweat, and his voice tightened into a sound so thin it was barely a squeak. The beautiful, joyful song strangled in his throat because of his fear of the judgment of others. His gift was lost to everyone--to the boy, to the audience, and to the world--because he became painfully aware of his "otherness" and felt those hearing him would listen with ears tuned to judgment instead of love.

What would the world look (or sound) like if we were absolutely sure that we would receive complete acceptance each time we tried something new? What if our ideas were welcomed and loved and listened to, simply because they came from us, the children of God? The next time I'm scared to share something of myself, I'm going to do it anyway, just to begin to chip away at this illusion of Otherness. I'll do it for you, and for me. Because each choice we make, remembering Love, brings us together a little more. :) k

Letting Prayers Fly

This has been a busy month for prayer so far. Lots of people sick--some seriously, some not--many people hurting; others struggling with depression around the holidays, or dreading change, or stuck in a rut. Another friend is in danger of losing her house because of financial problems; yet another quit her job after a huge internal struggle and is taking some time off for mental and spiritual housecleaning.

But sometimes when the prayer needs are many I forget something important. I begin to feel burdened and worried. I start a kind of "hand-wringing prayer," in which I plead with God to lighten the burdens of the people on my heart. But when I wring my hands and carry the burden with me, I have not left the need in God's lap. If I'm still carrying the worry for my friend and her financial situation, pleading with God throughout the day to please do something, I am assuming either (1) that he has not heard me, or (2) he for some reason doesn't want to help her and needs my prodding in order to act. I know that both of these things are impossible--God hears our every prayer and he works all things together for our good. (And he certainly doesn't need me to play Moses and try to talk him into something other than what he thinks is best.) When I focus on my worry instead of his grace, my prayers never get higher than my ceiling, because I won't let them go.

Our lives are created in partnership with God--every moment, every breath, every thought. We can never be apart from him. We can be unaware of our oneness with him and with each other, but never separated from it. When I focus on God's love and life--in my friends who are sick, or in financial need, or under stress--I know that he is more than able to heal, solve, move, and act in their lives and in the lives of all those they love. What is there to worry about? I'm going to trust those prayers and let 'em fly. :) k

Wishing Us a Less Materialistic Holiday

I read something in the paper this morning that said that 84 percent of Americans would rather make the holidays less materialistic. I think that's a wonderful number! If you lessen materialism, you make more room for spirit. And the fact that so many people (according to this survey) are even thinking about opening their hearts in lieu of their checkbooks is something to sing about. In fact, I wrote an article on this very thing last month for DisciplesWorld magazine. I've just added it in the Recent Articles section on the Practical ~faith~ page. So come visit and take a look if you'd like some ideas on gifts that cost you nothing but give you everything.

Wishing us all LOTS of Christmas spirit this year! :) k

Laugh of the Week

I've been off-blog since before Thanksgiving just because I've had a mountain of work (and fun stuff, too) to do. I hope this note finds you all well and enjoying a relaxing weekend. I wanted to pass along a headline, taken from Faith Week in Review, a newsletter published by Faithandvalues.com, that made me laugh:

Evangelicals on top of prostitutes
One reason why evangelical churches across the nation are not growing is due to the image that non-Christian adults have of evangelical individuals. In a nationwide survey among people who do not consider themselves to be Christian, the image of "evangelicals" rated tenth out of eleven groups evaluated, beating out only prostitutes.

The article is actually quite interesting, detailing how certain labels attract or repel us based on our understanding and expectations. More evidence that the mind separates and categorizes, while the heart just loves. :) k

The Immediator

The thought in my head today is about the immediacy of God. The "I Am" is here right now, in this moment, with each of us. It occurred to me this morning that I'm here, right now, living this day, because God wants me here. Today. In this city, in this house, with these kids (and dogs and cats), with these bills, with this career, with the individual friendships that bless me in all directions. We are vastly connected to eternity and to the eternal, simply standing here, right in this moment, where we are. Now is the portal to all the sacredness we'll ever know. Now is the moment when we finally welcome and recognize God. And if we miss the opportunity, we know it's offered again and again, as each future moment we're given becomes Now.

Pitching the Bucket of Faith

When I was in fourth grade, my best friend Michele moved with her parents from our concrete-and-brick apartment complex to a beautiful farm just outside the Indianapolis city limits. The house was big and drafty, with windows that stretched from floor to ceiling and big, unused rooms upstairs with peeling paint and chipping plaster--perfect and spooky for two 10-year-old girls giggling their way through a sleepover.

One morning in November we awoke early to find the world painted with a heavy frost, from barn to field to house. Michele and I put on our coats and gloves (she wore her Daddy's big canvas work gloves) and we went out to do Michele's chore. Her job was to water the horses; the mama mare, named Chocolate, and her newborn colt.


Michele had learned how to use the old pump and I stood back and marveled at this friend who had been a Barbie-playing city girl only weeks before. She pumped the water and I helped her carry it to the barn. Over and over we did this; one trip, two trips, three trips. Soon our arms were aching and Michele huffed, "Why is this taking so long? I usually only need two buckets and I'm done."

Michele's dad appeared in the doorway, grinning. "I was wondering when you two were going to realize that you picked up the bucket with the hole in the back." He pointed to the bucket. Sure enough, water was running out the back as we walked to the trough. He handed Michele a different bucket and took the one with the hole out of her hands. "I'll pitch this bucket and seal it up and it will be good as new tomorrow," he said.

This morning I'm remembering that experience because I've been thinking about ways that our faith trickles away without us knowing. Over 90 percent of Americans pray. Do we really believe it works? Do our actions say so? Are we any closer to really trusting God, to really relying on him to see us through the course of our lives? I want my belief to be more than belief: I want it to be a knowing. And toward that end, I want my thoughts, my choices, my actions, and my expectations to reflect the faith I say I have--and I know I have--when the chips are down. I'd like to pitch my bucket of faith and seal up those little cracks where the strength of God's presence dribbles out unnoticed. That means trusting him to do what he says he will do. Expecting it. Claiming it. Listening carefully--and applying what I hear. And with a little divine help, this bucket will soon be as good as new--or, more likely, better than ever.

Enjoy your day! :) k

Closing the Manual

This morning driving home from school, I heard an interview with John Mayer, a contemporary singer-songwriter. The interviewer brought up the fact that John gone to music school at Berkeley for two years and then cut out. His response: "I never was the kind of person to learn things from a manual." Me neither! I wanted to sit up and cheer. :) How often we feel we need to do what everyone else has done, learn the way everyone else learns, and value what everyone else values. But life in faith is a journey, step by step, that takes us along our own unique path, if we're paying attention. I'm putting away the store-bought map, closing the how-to manual, turning off the TV, and letting go of everything except God. He's more than able to show me where to put my foot next. Blessings on your day! :) k

Understanding & Knowing

It occurred to me today as I was writing to a friend that so many of the things we learn in our lives, we learn only over time. We grow, gradually, into trusting other people. We get used to a new job--slowly, one project, one person at a time. We change our lives, our families, our goals, and our perspectives by taking microscopic little steps, growing in a tiny way each day, every day, for years. Our intolerance melts subtly into acceptance. Our prejudices begin to take a back seat to our hope of finding that of God in another. Our fears, bit by bit, dissolve the unknown in favor of the known--what God has done before, he'll do again, and more.

So many of the unrealistic expectations I have put on myself and my own growth have had to do with time. I expect to know better, now. I want an answer, now. Like Paul, I know what I think I should be doing, but as Peace Pilgrim says, "It takes a while for the learning to catch up with the living."

But today I caught a glimpse of an understanding that reminded me that time is an ally, deepening our understanding and underscoring our knowing: Practical experience with God gives us an understanding and a knowing of his presence we can't get from a book, a song, or a movie. Lots of days with God give us the scope of experience, the knowing that he's there when we need him, a real help, companion, and guide we can count on, no matter what. :) k

One of Those Days

Have you ever had a day that started out great and then went to pieces before noon? I don't know what happened today, but what began as a beautiful, frosty, peaceful morning dissolved into an "everything's-going-wrong" kind of day. Sometimes I just don't see any rhyme or reason to these things; but I know God understands, even when I don't. My mantra today is, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." I know things will come back together again as quickly as they came apart. And God is with us, either way. :) k